Is Assertiveness All About Discernment, Or Judgement?
The difference between discernment and judgment can be tricky when just starting out, because there's a crossing-over between the two by definition. The difference here is that judgements come directly from the mind which boxes everything into categories of good and bad. Discernment does contain "judgement" though, in the sense that it comes from our innate inner wisdom based in total objectivity.
Accessing your innate inner wisdom engages an alternate skill set, and one of the amazing skills is discernment.
Working with discernment requires a focusing inward and connecting with your innate wisdom, instead of working from the outside with perceptions and acquired judgments. We know it isn't easy keeping judgements in check. Yet maintaining your inner wisdom connection is the key to activating
discernment. It is so much more beneficial than judgements whenever we are confronted with difficult situations, and especially when working with relationships.
Whether we are engaging in recreation, business, family and friends, or intimate relationships, an optimal way to navigate through all interactions, (and at the same time) gain the respect of others, is by utilizing the skill of discernment.
Here are three most important habits, to develop first, in order:
Healthy personal boundaries
Being honest within yourself and to others
By first supporting ourselves with these habits we are available to offer more ways of being supportive . We become facilitators, creating more productive and positive outcomes. Replacing judgment with discernment always offers positive benefits all the way around.
Discernment comes from engaging with heart and understanding the signals of our physical body (how and what you feel). More on how to read your bodies signals will be in the next blog post.
3 Steps to Practice Discernment:
During difficult situations and interactions, take a breath, start focusing on breathing deep and even, begin to take more time, you have more than you think!
Check in, ask yourself: "What and how am I feeling"?
Use this in situations whenever you feel a conflict (Practice; remembering to do it and holding your focus). These are moments of opportunity! Turn your focus inside, ask for wisdom to step forward, you're now able to engage a great gift from your inner wisdom. IT'S DISCERNMENT!